Bad vibrations… Warier

Further to my comments on the wonderful properties of Conception Flower and Gem Essence, I have spent some more time perusing the website, having still not received response to my query. Perhaps because it wasn’t received; or it might signify contempt towards someone who is clearly a time-wasting idiot, unable to navigate the site, wherein, at the very top of the page I reviewed, it states:

‘If You are Struggling with Infertility Homeopathic Remedies Can Help’

and scrolling down, it clearly reads…

‘(For more information about Flower and Gem Essences, please Click Here).’

So I did. And my eye was immediately caught by:

‘Discover the healing power in the vibrational energies of the selected flowers’

‘Uh-oh,’ I thought. Although I guess that helps a bit, me having assumed (and we can’t have that, can we?) that the vibration came courtesy of the ‘gem essences’ alone. Well, skipping over the predictable and lazy appeal to authority that is the quoting and mini-synopsis of the career and maverick wacko ‘philosophy’ of one Edward Bach, we learn that:

‘The philosophy behind the flower essences is that optimum physical health can only be achieved through emotional and spiritual harmony which will free the body of blockages and allow it to heal itself.’

Each to their own; I find potatoes work very well, myself. So, why should it bother me whether

‘The healing effects of flower essences come from the vibrational energies of the selected flowers.’

? Because I consider it utter bullshit? Or because I don’t know what it means? What are these ‘vibrational energies’? How do they connect with the ‘soul’ and ‘the emotional and spiritual body’? You see, I really don’t get, for example, how

‘Holly heals anger and envy and therefore opens up the heart to allow the individual to be truly loving.’

As in, get you ‘in the mood’ for conception? Is holly, then, an aphrodisiac?

A quick reminder of the gem essences, which are

‘… manufactured in a similar way to flower essences, but harness the vibrational energies unique to each different gemstone or crystal.’

So, it is a physical extraction process? How, then, do you know you’ve captured them? Is there some sort of mass spectrometrical analysis of the extract to determine sufficient quantity of the purified ‘essence’? Is there quantification of its ‘vibrational energies’? And how do they work, specifically? Some kind of molecular massaging thing? However, let’s not over-concern ourselves with some tedious real science, when a good old dollop of bamboozlingly impressive pseudoscience will do just fine:

‘According to quantum physics laws, when two objects vibrating at different frequencies are brought together, they impact on each other and an interference pattern is set up out of which a new frequency of vibration is produced.’

Quantum physics, eh? Which, being too abstruse for physicists themselves to fully grasp, is sure to impress we lay suckers folk in its fuzziness. Although I didn’t realise that ‘interference patterns’ came under the moniker. But hey, I’m ever happy to be corrected. As I’d be happy to learn about the ‘frequency’ (singular) of a person. Do I read correctly from this, therefore, that when we feel unwell, our frequency drops? The higher our frequency, the healthier we are? That when we are feeling ‘high’ or feeling ‘low’, is it literally our individual frequency we describe?

Anyway, going back to the clarification I had sought via the ‘ask us’ facility, as to whether this stuff is homeopathic or not. It turns out that:

‘Flower and gem essences are a unique healing modality in their own right. They are different from herbal and homeopathic remedies.’

Ah, is this the answer to my query? In contradiction of the previously apparent homeopathic remedy selling line, these are not the same thing. Moreover, their production prevents:

‘… degeneration of the remedies and… any decrease in the healing vibrational energy of the flowers and gems from which they are made.’

Would be very interesting to learn how they can preserve these ‘healing vibrational energies’, me supposing their production process is proprietary. But scroll down and we’re given insight… and another common natural fallacy selling point – all production and packaging is done by hand. Because – how silly not to have realised – any electronic/mechanical involvement could

‘… negatively affect the vibrational healing energy of the flowers or gems in any way.’

Rrrrrright….? Well, presumably having gone to the trouble of conducting and/or referring to extensive research (details of which would, of course, clutter up the site and its readability, so let’s not over-concern ourselves with all that), it pays to take care with these ingredients

‘… in order to retain the full vibrational energy of the flowers and gems used.’

Because these are very special essences indeed – coming, as they do, ‘from a Spiritual Place’.

Do you, like me, form an impression of the people who are likely to be seduced by this ‘appeal to nature’ logically fallacious marketing? People who willingly buy that:

‘NaturalEco Essences are completely hand-produced on the southern tip of Africa at the foot of Table Mountain, believed by many to be one of the twelve chakras of the planet Earth and a place where the energy leylines of Africa converge.’

I’m not saying they are not produced there, from flowers ‘wild crafted or grown organically in the beautiful and tranquil Constantia hills away from noise, pollution and power lines which can all adversely affect the flowers and their healing properties.’ Although quite how the production process confers resilience to these adverse mechanical and electronic effects during subsequent transportation, storage and distribution, I fail to grasp. Particularly when we are reminded of the ’ sensitive nature of the vibrational energy’, which necessitates storage of ‘the essences far from any source of magnetic fields including electronic equipment.’ And I still struggle to understand how a ‘similar process’ of distillation in pure water works for gems as it does for flowers. And what of the luring in of the herbally and homeopathically gullible like tickled trout, only to inform them that these products ‘are different from herbal and homeopathic remedies’? (Not that I’ve sympathy, mind.)

Just how many more examples can be squeezed onto this compendium cart of unclarities and contradictions? Well, here’s another to end with:

‘Due to the manufacturing process, there are no side effects or drug interactions with Flower Essences and they are completely safe…’

Which, then, I take to mean that there are no effects. Still, they do disclaim any guarantee that they work anyway. And a snip at $34.95 (Plus Shipping & Handling). Hardly worth making the effort to complain, eh?

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