Trophic facilitation?

I’m getting sucked in again to that feed-test-passage cell culture vortex thing, amassing a mountainous store of used plasticware, which has more information to yield up, were I inclined to go after it. But, the bigger it gets, the more I try and ignore it, and allow the displacement to kick in: I rattle off two angry E-mails: one to the Today program after last Friday’s utter useless bollocks of a Tft(b)D (the text of which has mysteriously failed to materialise), which garners no response; another to Film4 to bigotedly/justifiably/pathetically whinge about their habit of making scheduling announcements over the end credits (sacrilege to the true film lover), and which receives a rapid reply that, despite striving lengthily to convince of their reasoning, essentially amounts to little more than a ‘We’ll do what we like’-type thing (which I’d rather they just say).

Aside from conversations concerning the spotless forms of (some of the (at least) 23 types (types?) of) ladybird currently plaguing my flat; and a fraternal acting clan, at least one of which is clearly deranged, the following was recently ‘overheard’ in the coffee room:

“Can you tell me whether this phrase/expression makes sense, or sounds nonsensical?”

“Go on, then.”

“Trophic facilitation.”

(Pause) “Now, grammar was never my strong point… but, can you facilitate an adjective?”

“Err, dunno. But you can adjective a noun.”


“Facilitation is my noun here.”

“I mean, if you said, green… err… no…. Are you facilitating trophism?”

“No, I’m trophically facilitating.”

“Oh, I see! What’s it to do with?”

“I’m trying to shorthandedly describe how factors released by a transplanted cell stimulate the regeneration of lost endogenous cells.”

“Oh, right… ???”

“But I want a quick way to say it; I don’t want to describe the details at length.”

“What’s this for?”

“I’m half-heartedly writing a review.”

“About what? Is this some…. is it to do with your work?”

My work?! Oh yeah, that. (I’ve just been informed we’ve got four samples today. Better get on with it, or I’ll be here all bloody night!)

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